Articles About Love and Marriage
How To Sustain Love In Tough Economic Times
For the past several months the economy has been in decline, the unemployment rate has gone up, and home ownership has taken a dip. Sometimes, watching the Evening News causes one to wonder if the good old USA is in decline, if the financial state of America has caused marriages to crumble, love to decline, and people to forget the greatness of the nation we live in.
We would offer that while times are tougher than normal, the best marriages and love affairs will sustain the test of time for all the right reasons – during good or bad times the best loving relationships almost always survive. And we know why!
The truth is, the economy of the USA is on roller coaster ride, but in an historical sense, there is nothing particularly unusual about the current economic turmoil. We have been here before. There have been worse times.
The more important question through all this is, “How do we as a married couple, or lovers engaged in a loving relationship, make sure we sustain our love affair through all this turmoil, through all this uncertainty?”
As we stated so clearly in our new book entitled Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage, people in love must talk sense when dealing with their dollars. Here’s what we mean.
Balancing the family budget requires teamwork. It requires common goals. It most certainly requires family support. People in love support each other through thick and thin – through tough times and uncertainty.
People in love don’t blame, castigate, or chastise each other in tough economic times. They work together to make ends meet and to prepare for tomorrow.
There is a natural tendency in tough times to blame the one you love for your collective misfortune. There is, sadly, the desire to find a scapegoat when times get tough. There is, unfortunately, the need to find someone to blame when your economic fortunes go south. But it doesn’t have to be that way because the truth is, there usually is no one to blame for your misfortune.
People in love don’t wallow in self-pity. They grab “the bull by the horns” and work for solutions – recognizing that running a household is not easy. Making a family work is, clearly, difficult even in the best of times. But the unequivocal truth is this – if you don’t view your relationship as one requiring teamwork, all is lost. If you don’t work together to address head-on the economic challenges of your relationship with each other, there is little hope of success.
Whether you lost your job due to downsizing or whether you had to take a pay cut to keep the job you have, always remember this, what sustains your relationship is being in love with someone you trust – someone you would trust with you love, your sacred honor, and with your life.
In summary, here are the seven most important actions you can take to protect your love during tough economic times:
1. Approach all financial problems with teamwork. These are after all our problems not my problems and your problems.
2. Communicate openly about all financial issues facing your relationship. You are in this together.
3. Set common goals for resolving your financial setbacks. Agreeing on a course of action provides the clarity of purpose necessary for finding a solution.
4. Don’t blame each other if things go south. The blame game doesn’t work in love and marriage.
5. Don’t wallow in self-pity; it is a wasted emotion. No problem has ever been solved by feeling sorry for yourself or your situation.
6. Take action today to begin addressing your financial issues together. When you are in love being the Lone Ranger doesn’t earn you bonus points.
7. Celebrate each time you have a financial success such as paying off a credit card or finding a way to cut expenses. Fiscal responsibility is a virtue.
Times do occasionally get tough, but here’s the bottom line – if you have a loving and trusting relationship with someone, believe in that. If you love someone completely, then understand that your true love will sustain you through the best of times, and the worst of times.
The sour economic conditions of the country will pass. But always remember this – your love for each other will sustain you. Having someone to love and someone who loves you, is the greatest gift. True love is always sustained through the good times and the bad.
These times of uncertainty shall pass.
Simple Things Matter in Love and Marriage! Love well!
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
Authors of Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful MarriageWinner of the INDIE Book Awards GOLD Medal for Best Relationship Book
Winner of the 2009 Mom’s Choice Awards GOLD Medal for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book 2009 Nautilus Book Awards
(Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold.
Other Resources:
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Marriage Quiz
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Resources for Couples in Stress
Resources for Love the Second Time Around
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